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Just great. Last night this guy double parked his Porsche right in front of the building i was going into. And if that wasn't bad enough, when I got home there was paint all over my keys, too. Everything went wrong.

 

Let's go easy on the Canucks. The ones I have met seem likeable. More so than Robin Williams imho.

 

that's cause you ain't been to Quebec City

 

A woman is standing at the edge of a cliff trying to get the nerve to jump off.

A passing tramp stops and says, "Since you're about to kill yourself, if you don't mind, could we have sex please?"

The woman says, "No, fuck off."

The tramp turns to leave and replies, "Fine, I'll just go and wait at the bottom."

 

I can't believe the stuff that I saw a big time Hollywood celebrity do.

But I guess I really shouldn't judge him until I've snorted a mile of his coke.

 

No, that's not a tire swing.

It's a warning to other tires that trespass in my yard.

 

Latvian Antijokes In Broken English

Man is hungry. He steal bread to feed family. Get home, find all family have gone Siberia!
“More bread for me,” man think. But bread have worms...

Q : What one potato say other potato?
A : Premise ridiculous. Who have two potato?

Q : How many Latvian is take screw in light bulb?
A : 25. One screw in, 24 ride bicycle generator for 1-hour shift. But time probably better spend search food.

Q: What is happening if you cross Latvian and potato?
A: This is cruel joke. No potato here. Please, stop.

Two Latvian look at clouds. One see potato. Other see impossible dream. Is same cloud.

One day, hear knock on door. Man ask "Who is?" "Is potato man, I come around to give free potato" Man is very excite and opens door. Is not potato man, is secret police.

Latvian is rub lamp find genie. Genie say, “What is three wishes?” Latvian say, “I wish potato!” Then, POOF! Potato! Latvian so happy! “Oh! Is potato! Is potato!” say Latvian. Genie ask, “What is next wish?” Latvian is say, “I wish you go away so can enjoy potato!” POOF! Too bad, was the only lamp.

 

Then, POOF! Potato! TL so happy! “Oh! Is potato! Is potato!” say TL. Genie ask, “What is next wish?” TL is say, “I wish you go away so can enjoy potato!” POOF! Too bad, was the only lamp.

Grettings from China...:eek:

j/k..couldn't resist...TL..

 

There was this midget and.... wait a minute, there's a helicopter flying over my house. I'm going to put a hoody on and go outside and start running around the neighborhood. This should be fun!