Jokes 2

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by gwb-trading, Apr 30, 2007.

  1. TGregg

    TGregg

    <iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/Cyk7utV_D2I" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
     
    #11761     Apr 22, 2013
  2. Yannis

    Yannis

    Another Hail To The Chief

    <iframe width="640" height="360" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/xEYFFiEnUjQ?feature=player_embedded" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

    :) :) :)
     
    #11762     Apr 22, 2013
  3. fhl

    fhl

    I'm kind of psychic. I just seem to know when my team is going to win. It's like I have espn or something.
     
    #11763     Apr 23, 2013
  4. Yannis

    Yannis

    Some Funny Repeats

    A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger."

    Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says, "Dam!"

    Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

    Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says "I've lost my electron." The other says "Are you sure?" The first replies "Yes, I'm positive."

    Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

    A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them todisperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

    A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

    These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

    Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him ..... (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good).....A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

    And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to various people, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

    :) :) :)
     
    #11764     Apr 24, 2013
  5. Yannis

    Yannis

    #11765     Apr 25, 2013
  6. Yannis

    Yannis

    Kentucky: Preparing For 2016

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    :) :) :)
     
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    #11766     Apr 25, 2013
  7. LOL I want one of those :p .
     
    #11767     Apr 25, 2013
  8. <iframe width="640" height="360" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/pfxB5ut-KTs?feature=player_embedded" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

    cute
     
    #11768     Apr 25, 2013
  9. Yannis

    Yannis

    Foreign Holiday Notices

    Here are a collection of notices that made the list this time:

    * In the Bedroom:
    1) Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such thing please not to read notice.
    2) Please to bathe inside the tub.
    3) Please leave your values at the front desk.
    4) You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
    5) Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.

    * At the bar:
    1) Special today — no ice cream.
    2) Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
    3) Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.

    * In the Hotel Shop
    1) For your convenience, we recommend courteous, efficient self-service.
    2) If this is your first visit to Tokyo, you are welcome to it.
    3) Order your summer suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.
    4) Specialist in women and other diseases
    5) Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists...

    :) :) :)
     
    #11769     Apr 25, 2013
  10. Occupy wall street summed up in 2:44.

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    #11770     Apr 25, 2013