Jokes 2

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by gwb-trading, Apr 30, 2007.

  1. My parents were upset when I brought home my black girlfriend.

    They've got really old-fashioned beliefs. They think I should stay faithful to my wife.
     
    #11981     Jul 1, 2013
  2. fhl

    fhl

    I've decided to be a better citizen.

    Whenever I see someone trying to seize the day, now I always try to save the day.
     
    #11982     Jul 2, 2013
  3. fhl

    fhl

    I will never, ever apologize. Ever.

    I'm sorry, but that's just the way I am.
     
    #11983     Jul 2, 2013
  4. Yannis

    Yannis

    Cardiovascular Exercise

    The older we get the more important it is to incorporate exercise into our daily routine. This is necessary to maintain cardiovascular health and muscle mass. If you're over 50, you might want to take it easy at first, then do more repetitions as you become more proficient and build stamina. Warning: It may be too strenuous for some.

    Always consult your doctor before starting any exercise program!

    Scroll Down




























































    NOW SCROLL UP

    That's enough for the first day. Great job. Have a glass of wine.

    :) :) :)
     
    #11984     Jul 2, 2013
  5. Yannis

    Yannis

    Good one LOL :)
     
    #11985     Jul 2, 2013
  6. Yannis

    Yannis

    SPEAKING GERMAN IN TEXAS

    In Texas there is a town called New Braunfels, where there is a large German-speaking population. One hot day, a local rancher driving down a country road noticed a man using his hand to drink water from the rancher's stock pond.

    The rancher rolled down the window and shouted: "Sehr angenehm! Trink das Wasser nicht. Die kuehe haben darein geschissen." This means: “Glad to meet you! Don't drink the water. The cows have shit in it."

    The man shouted back: "I'm from New York and just down here campaigning for Obama's health care plan. I can't understand you. Please speak in English."

    The rancher replied: "Use both hands, very refreshing!"

    :) :) :)
     
    #11986     Jul 2, 2013
  7. "Nutmeg, I have reviewed this case very carefully," the divorce court Judge said.

    "And I have decided to give your wife $775.00 a week."

    "That's very fair, your honor," I said."And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks."
     
    #11987     Jul 2, 2013
  8. My fat neighbour came to my door drunk and asked for a shag.

    I said, "What about your husband?"

    "That loser!" she laughed. "He'll never find out!"

    I replied, "No, I meant if we're doing this, it'll need to be a two man job."
     
    #11988     Jul 2, 2013
  9. How do you make a fat girl come?

    A trail of biscuits.
     
    #11989     Jul 2, 2013
  10. baro-san

    baro-san

    <iframe width="640" height="360" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/nQSk0CYPvwE?feature=player_detailpage" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
     
    #11990     Jul 3, 2013