Jokes 2

Hey.....

An aphrodisiac is a lot like a regular disiac but,

It doesn't work and loves watermelon......

 

Friend of mine thought that meant "lots of love"

Sorry to hear your Mom died.
lol
John

true story

 

Tragedy plus 3 days ='s comedy

 

Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day.

Teach a man to fish and stick him with crippling fishing school debt for a lifetime.

 

Phil Mickelson won the British Open golf tournament over last weekend and he was playing left handed. That game is hard enough playing right handed let alone left handed.

 

Why Sharks Circle You Before Attacking...

Two great white sharks swimming in the ocean
spied survivors of a sunken ship.
"Follow me son" the father shark said to the son shark and they swam to the mass of people."First we swim around them a few times with just the tip of our fins showing." And they did.
"Well done, son! Now we swim around them a few times with all of our fins showing." And they did.
"Now we eat everybody." And they did.When they were both gorged, the son asked, "Dad, why didn't we just eat them all at first? Why did we swim around and around them?"His wise father replied, "Because they taste better without the shit inside!"

 

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/l4ZQooPHHAA" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

 

I see Glaxo is in trouble in China for distributing sexual favours and cash inducements ( bribes ).

Hey Glaxoites over here ( Detroit ) - we like you and are in desperate need of anything in that line you can offer ???

 

A salesman was making his first visit to see a farmer. He was walking down a long dirt road when he saw a big sign: “Beware of the dog.” He paused for a moment and decided to keep going. As he got further down the road he saw of another sign: “BEWARE OF THE DOG!” He gulped and thought about turning around, but decided to proceed. His desire to make the sale was greater than his fears.

Finally, at the end of the road, he arrived at the farmhouse and found a little puppy sitting on the front porch. When the farmer answered the door, the salesman asked, “Do you really expect that little dog to keep people away?” “No,” the farmer replied. “I expect the signs to do that.”