tampa's Revenge

...oh you'll be back.

Do you think that you're the first guy who said he'd never visit my journal again? Well you're not.

It's alright to get mad at me - that's what I'm here for.

But just in case you really, really mean it this time - go on admit it, admit before you go that my charts are the most beautiful you've ever seen.

 

I’m worried – very, very worried.

You see, I keep getting these e-mails that say, in essence: “tampa, I feel like you’re talking directly to me. It’s like you’re inside my head.”

May the Saints preserve us! Do you mean to tell me that there are guys out there going through the same kind of stuff that I’m going through? (If that’s true, I hope the tip about shaving and remembering to put your pants on before the wife gets home helped.)

It’s a bitch, isn’t it. I mean, you know the signals, you know what you should be doing – at least I do. But somehow the good trades go untaken, and the bad ones are NEVER missed. Is that what you mean? Or you sit there day after day, watching the market to the point that you just know you have it down, and then when you play for real, it stops acting the way you expected? Is that what you mean?

Let me tell you a little story. I swear it’s true. Let me preface it by saying that I am not a spiritual man. I am not suppositious, nor do I believe in ANYTHING supernatural.

Anyway about 12 years ago – I was trading the big S&P contract – and I read this article that basically says: “When the moon is in the seventh house, and Jupiter aligns with Mars, then peace will guide the planets, and love will rule the stars.” Or something like that. Of course this is nonsense. I don’t buy in to this kind of crap, but it says that there is a strong correlation between planetary aspects, and tops and bottoms in the S&P.

OK, so I’m losing my ass anyway – so what the hell. I bought an ephemeris, and start looking at this stuff. Oh my God- it’s true! I sit there day after day, with my jaw dropped open, and it turns on a dime at the exact times listed. So I call my wife in. If you think I’m a nonbeliever, then meet Mrs. Cheese! Her jaw drops open. After a couple weeks of this stuff, I get the nerve to tell my broker about it. To my surprise, he asks me to provide the times – and he starts trading this shit – and it works!

This goes on for a couple more weeks. I never put a trade on. Finally I get the nerve – what do you think happened? Of course.

I swear to you that this story is true. So don’t feel so bad about your adventures and follies – you’ve got a ways to go to catch up with moi.

As stupid as you may feel at times, as dumb as your actions may be, you’ve got a long way to go before you’re in my league- trust me on this one.

 

I will have to peruse my old stack of magazines to verify your claim

 

Well, it’s that time of the month again – (sigh). No, that’s not what I mean – she’s bitchy all the time, trust me.

No, it’s time for my monthly brokerage statement to arrive. And it’s anything but a pleasant occasion around here – if you know what I mean, and I think some of you do.

I have come to believe that they must put something in the paper it’s printed on that only women can smell. I mean no matter where I hide that sucker, the wife is on it like flies to you know what.

Take this morning as an example. I know it’s coming, so I quietly open the window in my office, climb down the trellis, tiptoe around the side of the neighbor’s place, and run for all I am worth until I catch up with the mail guy. He hands over the potential bombshell, I fold it neatly, and tuck inside my pants.

I figure that’s a good safe place to hide it, because there’s nothing down there that the wife has been interested in for years – if you get my drift.

I’m just settling back in to my office chair when the door bursts open. It’s you know who – steam is pouring out of her ears, lightning bolts are coming from her eyes!

The Wife: “Where is it! Hand it over!
Me: “What ever are you talking about, my little love muffin?.”
The Wife: “Don’t give me that crap, or I’ll rip you in two. Give it to me now!”

That’s when I pulled a head fake, slipped past her, ran down the hall, down the steps, and past the living room.

She caught up with me in the kitchen, knocked me to the floor, grabbed me by the ankles, held me upside down, and started shaking.

Four or five good shakes, and the document comes free. She drops me like a sack of flower, scoops up the statement, and my life begins to flash before my eyes. There was the usual screaming and cursing. She ripped the door off one of the cabinets, and dishes were flying everywhere! It was ugly – it always is.

Of course I’m a nervous wreck now. I’ve got this big bump on my head from when she dropped me. Did I mention that she kicked me as I lay on the floor? I think she broke a few ribs.

Man, I hate this time of the month.

 

I used to roll her in the the clover, (mmm mmm) but thank god those days are over
(Hallelulia!)

It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chew Your Ass Out All Day Long
All day Long

Cherry Bombs

fine looking charts tampa , congrats

 

Yes they are, Babe.

I think that the secret to my success can be found not just in the chart layout, but in the selection of pleasing colors - something newer traders often overlook.

Tips and tricks such as this can be found at my web site - www.cciblog.com

 

Man, that was quick, tampa. And thanks for inviting me back. I've got to go back to the hospital next week and all for the serious stuff...

In the meantime, since you seem to be a learned man, acquainted with the ways of the world...I know this is your journal and don't answer if you don't give a care but I went to this website and they matched me up with the perfect home-based opportunity, sort o f like a back-up to my trading career. You'll never guess that they matched me up with SONGWRITING.

Yep, i've already started my first song:

Take the ribbon from my hair.
Shake it loose and let it fall.
Layin' soft against your skin.

Cum on feel the noize.
Girls rock your boys.
We'll get wild, wild, wild
Wild, wild, wild.

My inspiration has kinda dropped like a desert wind and I was wondering if you had any talent in rhyming lyrics...I'd be sure to give you proper credit for anything you wrote.

Anyway, I'm not mad about much of anything today, the pain pills they give people these days tend to smooth me out real fast...I got some other things to do so don't feel any pressure to reply immediately, or at all, he he.

 

I'd like to help you out (which way did you come in?), but my talents lay in chart design and color selection - as I have demonstrated.

However, from what I know of your trading success, I strongly recommend that you concentrate on song writing.

Thank you for this opportunity to assist.

 

All right, well, some roads are best travelel alone. I guess this is one of those.

Since your assessment of my trading career appears to be spot on, let me ask you a question about chart design?

Do you get more satisfaction from the design process itself or from the monetary reward produced? Either by selling the chart as fine art or using it to make a real trade? Heh.

 

Youve got a ways to go in the art dept. Heres one of Buffy's.