Great display of discipline. It's encouraging to see you modeling the discipline I aspire to have myself. Thank you.
We all fuck up - me included It how we recover that reflects out metal ==================== Good Job today RN
Hello Yukoner: I have been following your thread for a few days, and there seem to be one reoccurring theme in your journal which many of the more experienced traders who are helping you are yet to point out (or may be they did point it out, and I did not pay attention to their comments; if so, I apologize for bringing it up again): your constant talk about how price moves in your favor by n-ticks before taking you out. This brings me to my question: Do you REALLY believe in your system? You have said elsewhere that your system is well tested and has a positive expectancy. Is that really the case or are you trying to convince yourself that your system has a positive expectancy? (I know I have done that before -- trying to fool myself into thinking that a system I had had positive expectancy when it did not -- only to be burned by the market). If you do indeed have a system that has positive expectancy, and you REALLY believe in your system, why do you care about all the price gyrations so much? Redneck, in another journal, asked that journalist to NOT trade PnL but to trade the market (very profound). Seems to me you, more than not, are trading PnL (an issue I am guilty of too!). All the best with your combine. Regards, Monoid.
Hi Monoid, Thanks for contributing! I really do appreciate you pointing out what you did. I am on a journey to discover blind spots and improve myself, and the only way to do that is stay humble and consider what others are telling me. To answer your question, yes, I totally believe in my system. It is an excellent way to trade. The way it was taught to me can be summed up in these few words... "Risk of a daytrade, reward of a swing trade". Without a doubt it works. The challenge for me has been to trade it under the combine requirements, which don't allow me to hold a position overnight for larger gains in proportion to my risk. I was able to do that intra-day, and pass my second combine, but then wasn't ready mentally to trade OPM. The last couple of months, I have had a serious challenge with managing my winners. I consistently kept cutting them short... and not allowing them to work. I have reviewed my trades, and without a doubt I was ruining my expectancy, and would have been profitable. I know this, and so now I have been working hard on becoming more comfortable with letting my trades work out.... and even more importantly, on sticking with my plan even when it feels uncomfortable or even painful. For some reason, my brain keeps wanting to close out those winning trades as soon as they get up about 10 ticks. (Maybe old scalping behavior from 2008?) Perhaps that is why I care so much about the price gyrations? I know I don't like losing ticks... and traditionally in combine I have been very good about cutting my losers quickly, but then this behavior slips over into winning trades. I don't know about others, but for me, there has been a lot of challenges that have surfaced with the idea of being responsible for trading OPM. Some might think it a waste time trying, but I know that this process is making me a better trader. Even writing down this journey after each trading day is forcing more accountability, which us retail traders don't get from the "home office". Thanks again for the post, I hope I answered your question... and you made me think some more about this... Good Trades, Yukoner
Game Plan for Day #10 - now I am dangerously close to my trailing max drawdown. However, I plan to continue to just trade the same way. The reason is this, I need to learn to still do the correct trading even under this type of pressure. In the past, I would have traded a lot, and tried to get myself out of the hole... maybe trading in the overnight market... perhaps even putting on bigger size and more risk... all of which isn't conducive to positive trading behavior. So unless I wake up sick, the plan for Day #10 is to just trade it like all the others.
Day #10 - What a wild day to be trading oil. Of all days, this one tested me to stick with my plan. 1min bars looked like 15 min bars, and 15min bars like 4 hours. I started off with an excellent entry, and I knew it was good... normally I would have added to the short, and held it. So I had to fight a bit with not canceling the take profit, but rather sticking with the plan. I had another excellent setup, and again had to fight with not cancelling the take profit... both instances the market continued substantially past my profit exit. This is were I can really see the limitations of this experiment with static stops and take profits. You can't get those high Rewards of 4 or 8 times your risk by simply trailing a stop. (Note: I traditionally wasn't able to anyhow, because I would emotionally close out those winning trades manually rather than let the market exit me.) I also had many trades that would get up 10 or 15 ticks, or one that was 18 ticks.... only to reverse and stop me out. I was so tempted to adjust my stop again... I remember at one point pumping my hands in the air, and celebrating that I was building good muscle memory... and I kept doing this until it had reversed and stopped me out. But the key thing was this. I stuck with the plan. I traded as per my plan for today. Even though at times it was very frustrating and I didn't want to stick to the plan. I did build up the day to over $400, and then kept trading as I tried to keep staying in the market. My last trade of the day, I had put on a trade, but I was very distracted and I couldn't focus. I should not even have put on the trade in the first place. However, once I was aware of that distraction I closed the trade... and then I called it quits for the day. That is why it was my last trade. It was tempting to get back into the market around close, but I didn't... and I am sure it would have been a mistake to have continued to trade. I wasn't focused, and my emotional trading capital was depleted. All in all, it was a test of my discipline to sticking with the plan. The brain would just make up so many reasons to break the strategy. Now though, market is closed, and I am glad that I accomplished what I did. I need to learn to pay attention to my body state "as a marker of accelerating emotion" (as per R. Howell) +30
Plan for Day #11 - Tomorrow is Friday, and I expect a lot of oil volatility. I am still close to my trailing max draw down, but I am still comfortable to just trade the plan. (Really, its the only choice I have, to change anything would make no sense) However, on Sunday I leave for a much deserved vacation at Turks and Caicos. I won't be trading while on vacation, and back end of the month. So after tomorrow, my first trading will be in February. I spoke with my psych coach tonight, and settled on finishing the experiment today of static stops and take profits. I really feel like the fear is diminishing and I am getting more disciplined at sticking to the plan for the day. By doing this, the plan becomes the focus and not the trade. I am very glad I tried this and this week I have really stuck with it. So the plan for tomorrow is to go back to my normal style of trading, with the exception of sticking with the tighter stops that I have been using all week. (10 ticks) This has made me really focus on trying to get the best entry, and usually I at least see some movement in my favor. I won't have a fixed take profit, but I will be really focused on trying to let my winners run. Giving them some more time to work. However, I will also be quickly reducing my risk once a trade is in a profit. This should allow me to catch some larger intraday moves that are several times my initial risk. But who knows... I will try to stay neutral and trade responsibility. Focus will be on my breathing, and sticking to my plan, and not allowing any distractions to come in.